Near the end of January I decided it was time to open myself back up to the working world after a sabbatical of roughly six months. At time of writing (early March) I don’t have a full time position in hand, but I do have a lot of lessons learned. Some of these are about my own desires, others are about what is available. Included is a large question of how the development ecosystem is structured, and what people think of it.
Where it started
One of the big things in my search for my next job, was to look over the things which were wrong with my previous role. To understand what I want outside of the context of what I have done for the last ten years. I took a couple of different approaches to figuring this out. I spoke to a therapist about the muddle I was holding in my mind, which allowed me to let go of the things I had been holding on to. I worked through the exercises in the book What Color Is Your Parachute. I spent time in prayer and meditation. I completed what I called a “flag exercise”.
Each of these actions served it’s own purpose. Speaking to a professional is a useful tool for asking questions I didn’t know I needed to ask. I could relate to my own emotions better (I’m still not great with them, but improving) and I could allow myself the grace of imperfection. Similarly with the exercises in the book. This guided introspection allowed me to put together my own life priorities. Guiding me in understanding which of my skills and talents I want to be using on a daily basis. Guiding me more towards design and architecture (and senior roles) than “just write the code”. It is one of the reasons I am trying to build up this blog as a regular habit. The act of writing on technical (and other) topics is something important to me.
These two things helped me to move towards prayer and meditation, where I could answer a question that was put to me a fairly short time after changing directions. “What does your heart want?” I had to answer “I don’t know” at first. I have a much clearer idea now, where I know also what aspects of my previous role were contributors to burnout for me. Which responsibilities were within the bracket of “just because I can doesn’t mean I should or that I want to.” In answer to the question, I realised a few things. One, my level of organised is far more about ADHD management than about actually being an organised person, and so leaving a little room for the right kind of chaos and brain clearing days is very useful. Two, me being organised doesn’t mean I want to organise other people. Which means I say now “no” when asked to manage any form of logistics for people. I do not organise schedules or rosters, even in volunteer groups. I do not do “people management”. My form of leadership is direct and specific, in the moment kind of stuff. Three, the work I do must be fulfilling to my soul and not just my bank account.
Let me give that one space to breathe.
Religion and faith can be a bit of a taboo in the technical space. I am so aware of the agnostic and atheist people around me, that I don’t always acknowledge that it is entirely reasonable for me to maintain my own Christianity. It is no more acceptable for them to judge me on my faith than it would be for me to judge them. I catch myself secularising my arguments for this reason. You could even call it “code switching” if you wanted to. So, rather than telling people I want to do work I feel God agrees with, I say I want to focus on social impact. Rather than explaining to people that I am driven by a verse in the book of Luke saying you cannot serve both God and money, I say I am willing to work for less if I am doing work I truly believe in. So let me be honest, I am not afraid to wait for the right opportunity to come my way, because God’s timing is not my own. The right work will come at the right time for me,and until then I live in faith that God has a plan. It does also mean that I can – in good conscience – say a blanket “no” to all FinTech and Big Corporate roles that I see.
This plays into the last activity I mentioned. I performed a flag exercise. I created a table with certain categories, and in each category I made two lists. One of “red flags” and one of “green flags”. Some of these are buzzwords that will turn me off from a job spec. One of my categories is “industry”, and there I can rule out FinTech, Gambling, Gaming, etc, but rule in research, EdTech, MedTech, Sports etc. My categories are actually drawn heavily from the petals of the “Flower Exercise” in What Color Is Your Parachute. This exercise allows me to call out benefits which may look good on paper, but I know are designed to encourage working longer hours (e.g. unlimited leave, on site meals). It allows me to call out that working across too large a time difference is not conducive to my health. It allows me to avoid the kind of work I don’t want, and allows me to remember that if a job spec feels the need to call out that it is a “fast paced environment” then based on the benchmark of “all tech is moving at speed” they probably mean they are out of control and in a speed wobble. That crash is going to hurt.
How it is going
I started by saying I don’t have the job of my dreams in hand. I am okay with that. I would rather take my time, be discerning and discriminating (as in not indiscriminate, not the negative connotations associated with the word), and land in the right place. I have spoken to companies. I have spoken to recruiters. I have spoken to friends. All of this is healthy interaction. All of it will lead me in the right direction.
One of the biggest lessons for me, was just how helpful my network already is. The truth is, every individual I reached out to regarding “being on the job market” was super happy to keep their eyes open. No one said “you’re being ridiculous”. No one said “I don’t have time for this nonsense”. I did get some “I don’t know of anything right now, but I’ll keep my eyes open.” There is nothing wrong with that, it is simply a fact.
The other thing, is that it is quite hard to move from the massive scale of AWS to something smaller without being caught by the FinTech banner. Maybe it is where the skills I have overlap, or maybe it is because there is a perceived expectation of what I want to earn being the driving factor. The fact that people have said to me “I don’t know if they can afford you” because of what I am looking for, and the shape of my experience, is kind of weird. What have we done to these smaller sub-industries in the tech space that they cannot afford a senior engineer with corporate experience? Where is the money for the projects which are actually improving the lives of the people around us?
The issue with changing industries is not only around pay. It is also around tech stacks. So many job postings are looking for a certain number of year experience in the particular stack. The issue is, these things change so fast that the Java experience I have from ten years ago is almost worthless. We all know the jokes about specs looking for ten years experience in some framework that has only been around for two. That is the reality of this space. Python experience could mean anything, but if I’ve only ever written Python 2 and didn’t keep up with the changes between Python 3.7 and Python 3.12 is that going to change the fact that I think about architecture in a beneficial manner? I have a lot of experience with Java and Spring. I also know a thing or two about Kotlin and some of the sharp edges in coroutines. That doesn’t mean I can’t pick up Django or FastAPI in a week.
I find myself in a position where I need to diversify my experience. This means picking up short term work which will serve to fill a portfolio for the people who are concerned about my lack of experience with their particular flavour of tech. I don’t mind doing that, but it is a double edged sword. The more diverse my experience, the more I am “worth” to certain groups. Which will make it even harder for those who say “we can’t afford you” to take the chance that I will be willing to negotiate a contract that suits us both.
In conclusion
Not everything I have learnt when looking for my next job was what I expected. I’m not even overly stressed about it being a slow process, because I don’t want the next mainstream job. I am looking to find an industry niche, and those take time. I am not devoid of opportunities either (nor am I bored, I promise that). The market is an unusual place, and the recruiters and companies who are navigating it may be shaping it more than they think. There is not a clear answer to what the right approach is, but finding a place where I fit and will be happy is far more important to me than just making a bucket load of money every month.
Pippa Hillebrand 