I can not tell you how many times I have had to respond to the question “why don’t you do this, you are such a good leader?” My response, as I have matured, has changed from “yes I suppose I can, therefore I should” to “I may be a leader, but the role has other responsibilities for which I am ill equipped”. What does that mean? How can it be possible that a good leader is ill equipped for a leadership role? I don’t think leadership is that cut and dried. I don’t even think leadership is a single skill to be distilled and learned.
Administration and People Management
One of the most awful and exhausting things you can ask me to do on the behalf of anyone (even myself) is administrative work, or organising and chasing people to do things for me or for a job. I hate micro-management, I also know that no one ever actually works to the way I would do it myself, and so unless someone is really good at their job, or the task doesn’t really matter that much (to me) I will micromanage. I become the people manager I truly hate working for. It is one of the reasons I have chosen to work in an individual contributor role, not go the management route.
Administrative work is slightly different, but I relate the two because frequently the people management I have been exposed to involves a fair amount of admin. Admin itself is often necessary, and if it is possible for me to delegate it, I frequently will (within the scope of never actually sharing my passwords). This comes down to one of the lovely autism/ADHD screening questions:
Are you organised, or do you have a system?
Just sit with that for a moment. Think it through for yourself. If you are naturally organised, things do not get forgotten, you remember to pay your bills, book your dentist appointments and purchase new socks, you might not be as prone to micromanagement, because you believe these are things other people are capable of remembering to do. If, like me, you have a monthly reminder on your phone to go through and pay any outstanding invoices, you have been meaning to sign up to support some charity for over a year – you just haven’t got there yet, and you should have done an annual dentist check last month. Well. Maybe you are not administratively gifted. You have a system. You do not innately believe that other people are able to keep track of their lives if they do not use a compatible system. You become a micromanager, and it is deeply unhealthy.
To the uninitiated, having a system which works really well for your own life may look extensible. It may look like you can use that to become a people manager and help others to reach the same potential you are working at. That is not how it works. I am putting more work into my system than the actually organised person is putting into achieving the exact same result. Let them do the version which requires more work. I will do the things at which I am skilled.
Facilitation
This is a skill I have built over the years, and of which I am deeply proud. Good facilitation employed naturally in a complex environment reads as strong leadership. It is an aspect of leadership. It is not innately visionary or powerful, but it makes the people around you feel that they have power. It is about listening more than it is about speaking. When it is about speaking it is about saying the things which will diffuse tension, bring people alongside one another and remove blockers. Good facilitation opens up difficult conversations for people to lean into a complex space. A facilitator guides a group of people to a cohesive conclusion, but should not be overly prescriptive.
The facilitator should not be expected to be doing a bunch of administrative work. The facilitator is not a people manager, in that they are not responsible for the performance of the individuals. In the software industry this is the scrum master. Yes, there is a small amount of admin to keep the facilitation on track, but honestly if the only person who ever reads the notes or the trail the facilitator leaves behind is themselves then it is simply part of the system, not being naturally organised.
The reason it looks like strong leadership is that the facilitator steps into a room filled with chaos and brings order. They take a wildly disparate group of people, each of whom has their own vision and mission, and they help those people to align. They do not (always) prescribe the end vision and mission to which the group should be working. In the case where they come in to help a group align on a set vision and mission, it is usually not one they set themselves. It is a leader higher up the chain who has set the goals. This allows the facilitator to come alongside the people they are working with, and not feel like “the bad guy” laying down the law.
Visionary Thinking
A good leader knows where they are going and they are willing to put in the hard yards to get there. An excellent leader is aware enough of their own shortcomings to surround themselves with a team who are able to fill those gaps. I can see a little way into the future, but I can also see worlds where I am quite happy not reaching for those heights. I am not, by nature, a visionary thinker. I live in the moment, and I work towards achievable bite sized goals. Those with a knowledge of ADHD will recognise this. The future is a scary place, and I am glad there are people around me who have good ideas about how to make it better.
I happen to think my current CEO is a great example of a visionary thinking leader, who does not try to do it all himself. He has a wonderful vision, his excitement about the work we are doing is infectious, and he makes everyone want to give their best. We are not pushed to work as hard as we do, we choose to take the extra steps to make this vision come to life. At the same time, we do not go to the CEO for technical decision making, that has been given to the CTO and our development team. This is filling the gaps with excellent people.
Where do I fit?
I know my weaknesses, and I do not feel ashamed of them. There is no moral quality to being a good administrator which I am missing. I am not going to stagnate and stop learning by focusing in on my own contributions. I can still help others grow in many ways with mentorship, facilitation, and personal guidance. I do sometimes see the ways in which the future could be improved. Moments of vision. I have not fully mastered the art of useful delegation, and frequently do not have the authority to simply say “you go do this, and I will support you”. So, when people say “I think you would be so good at this” I remind them of these gaps, and I say “I know I would be good at some of it, but I would burn out on the other parts”.
Yes, when I step into a room and begin to facilitate the conversation or the event I look like a strong leader. What you do not see in those moments are the true heroes who run around behind the scenes to ensure there is a room for me to step into. Yes, when you see me on stage I look like I know what I am doing. What you do not see is the hours of practice, the many failures, or the tremor in my hands.
Pippa Hillebrand 